The Usual Shop

Posted by Steve on August 21st, 2008 in Uncategorized

Ahem…  My Rhapsody Channel, i think it’s about time that we sit down and talk about our relationship.  Don’t act surprised, Rhapsody Channel, i’m sure you knew that we were headed to this point.  You must have seen this coming.  And now here we are.  Let’s just get it over with so we can both be more comfortable with the relationship.  I know you have some issues with me as well, this will not be a one-sided conversation.

It almost seems as though you don’t listen to me anymore.  I rate song after song after song but you are so set in your ways that you just keep playing the same stuff over and over again.  I feel that our lack of communication might bring this relationship down.  And i don’t think either of us want that.

I know we didn’t exactly start out on an idyllic foot, My Rhapsody Channel.  It was no secret that i came to you when My Yahoo Channel went defunct.  But i don’t want you to feel as though you’re a rebound product.  Think of it more as, i just hadn’t found you yet.  Granted, you took some getting used to, but i really feel as though we quickly became comfortable with each other and progressed for a while almost synergistically.

That is, until lately.  It seems as though for the past few days every other song you’ve chosen has been either Tool, Nirvana, or Mudhoney…  Rhapsody Channel, i don’t really know how to say this, so i’m just going to come right out and ask…  Are you depressed?  Would it kill you to play some Donovan or Polyphonic Spree every now and then?  I think it would help you feel a lot better.  I know when i’m down, i put on one of your Surf Rock channels and those Pet Sounds get me feeling groovy in no time.

This is a little awkward, but does this have anything to do with Pandora?  Because, i swear, that was a one time thing.  I was lonely one night, Rhapsody Channel, and you were down with “server issues” so i found comfort in the music of another service.  If anything, that only reaffirmed my commitment to you and i promise it will never happen again.  Pandora means nothing to me.

Rhapsody Channel, do you realize that we haven’t heard Sex Pistols in two months?  Two months is a long time to go without Sex Pistols.  And don’t claim that you’ve had a Van Halen, because i know that isn’t the case.  If your Van Halen won’t go away for two months, you should probably see somebody.  Anyway, if you had been listening to me, you would know that i’ve rated Van Halen as “Never Play Again”.  You can’t use that excuse anymore.  We need to look at the real issues.

Maybe it’s my fault.  I know i’ve been sending mixed signals by rating The Moody Blues so high but Bread so low.  But Rhapsody, you have to look at it from my perspective.  To me, those are two very different bands.  Just because i like the Moody Blues so much doesn’t mean that i’m going to love Seals and Crofts or The Carpenters.  But once again, i’m afraid i’m going to have to point the blame back to you .  Your rating system leaves a little to be desired.  I’ve had no choice but to rate Henry Rollins the same as Stephane Grapelli even though my feelings for those two artists are very different.

Anyway, Rhapsody, i’m glad we’ve had this talk.  I feel like we’ve covered some good ground here and come a long way.  And i hope that in the future we can take this relationship to the next level and try some new things like Opera and, if you’re up to it, some Funk.  I have a funny feeling that you and me and George Clinton could some day make beautiful music together…  So to speak.

Good talk, My Rhapsody Channel, good talk.