This is my first written attempt in my new goal to actively point out something or things that made me laugh each day. It seems healthy.
The first is remarkably inappropriate:
Today i attended the funeral of one of my favorite teachers from high school. The first half was quite nice, sincere memories and honors to the deceased in words spoken by the children and a couple of musical numbers. The rest was dry, almost fanatical LDS propaganda. And then this happened:
During the telling of a cliff-diving story about the deceased, the eulogizer gets a little carried away and says something along the lines of “how do you fall that far, bounce off the cliff rocks and be alive today to tell about it…?” Realizing what he just said, he stops, stammers for a minute, and then just proceeds with his talk.
In addition to chuckling at the funeral-faux-pas of referring to the dearly departed as “still being alive today to tell about it”, i laughed literally out loud at this line from the Onion AV Club review of EdTV:
“Which NKOTB Would Marry You?” (my guess? Zeppo, the forgotten Wahlberg)”
What do you say to people when they tell you how cute they think your dog is? Do you say “thank you”? Because really, i have very little to do with his cuteness. True, i helped pick him out and every so often i bathe and brush him. But his cuteness is definitely beyond that - he just has a cute personality. So i’ve started doing this: When i’m walking Pi and someone tells me how cute he is, i look at Pi and say very seriously, “Say ‘thank you’, Pi… The nice lady just gave you a compliment, show some gratitude…” And when Pi just sits there being cute and the nice lady starts chuckling awkwardly, i turn it up a notch. “I’m so sorry ma’am, he really has an issue with manners.” And then again to Pi, “Seriously, you stupid fucking dog! I can’t take you anywhere without you constantly embarrassing me. You just wait until we get home and your mother hears about how ungrateful you were to this lady. You’ll get beat so bad that you’ll wish you had not only thanked her but bit me until i dropped your leash so you could run away and live with her.”
Now, screaming in the middle of the sidewalk, “That’s what’ll happen to you when we get home if you don’t apologize for your ridiculous hubris, you miserable excuse for a pet!” By this time, the aforementioned nice lady’s awkward chuckling has turned into wide-eyed horror, but she’s learned her lesson and my work there is done.
This summer i’m observing my ten year high school reunion. In high school i listened almost exclusively to classic rock. In fact, other than The Red Hot Chili Peppers, i was fairly convinced that it’d all been going down hill ever since Kurt Cobain died. The top twenty stations were inundated with mindless boy band “music” that i couldn’t stand. However, i’ve realized that in fact a helluva lotuv good music came out during my sophomore, junior, and senior years of high school that i just wasn’t aware of. In fact, a lot of it i’m rather upset to have missed in its prime.
The following is my list of top ten albums that came out in 97, 98, or 99 that i thoroughly enjoy now but was completely unaware of at the time.
#10 The Boy With The Arab Strap - Belle and Sebastian
It took me a very long time to get into Belle and Sebastian. A lot of the problem was that i always felt their best song (by far) was Stars of Track and Field, and i always have issues with bands whose most popular song is also the one i consider to be the best. However, after giving them more chances than i give most bands, i eventually came around.
#9 Keep It Like A Secret - Built To Spill
The thing most upsetting about missing this album when it came out is that i think i would have really enjoyed it then. It has very clear classic/progressive rock roots and would have been right up my alley, possibly even gatewaying me into indie rock much earlier than how it happened naturally (probably via Richard Feynman). Sorry, this was the best video i could find of The Plan.
#8 OK Computer - Radiohead
Of course i knew Creep from Pablo Honey, but was otherwise oblivious to Radiohead for an embarrassingly long time. Somewhere between the releases of Amnesiac and Hail To The Thief, i finally got around to buying The Bends. Fortunately i haven’t looked back since. Many argue OK Computer to be their all time best. I can’t force myself to agree or disagree.
#7 I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One - Yo La Tengo
I fell in love with Sugarcube from the above album the first time i heard it. And that was without even seeing this Bob Odenkirk/David Cross piece of brilliance.
#6 The Man Who - Travis
Every so often i sort of forget about Travis. I’m not sure why that happens, but i don’t exactly hate it because suddenly something from The Man Who or The Invisible band will pop up on whatever i’m listening to, and it’s so refreshingly exciting. The band in all their Scottishness is almost ridiculously charming too. See them live if you have the opportunity.
#5 69 Love Songs - The Magnetic Fields
It’s difficult to not find something you love from an album with 69 songs on it from a band with material as diverse as the Magnetic Fields. Of course that also means there are songs on the album that aren’t that great at all - or just incredibly odd. When all is said and done, however, 69 Love Songs will forever stand out as pop music and commentary brilliance.
#4 The Soft Bulletin - The Flaming Lips
It turns out that The Flaming Lips are way more than just She Don’t Use Jelly. I only wish i had that realization when The Soft Bulletin came out instead of when they opened for Beck while they were touring for Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Somewhere between dancing audience members dressed in animal costumes and Wayne Coyne spinning a spotlight erratically were brilliant acid rock songs. It wasn’t at all hard to get into Yoshimi. Looking back, it shouldn’t have been hard to get into The Soft Bulletin - an album simply sans any remotely mediocre track.
#3 XO - Elliott Smith
Not surprisingly, The Royal Tenenbaums turned me on to Elliott Smith. Fortunately, not long after that movie came out, he played a concert at the Univeristy of Utah. It wasn’t a great show, by any stretch of the imagination, but it was nice to see him live. Unfortunately, only a few weeks after that show he killed himself (most likely). Needle in the Hay will always be eerily apropos now. But since it’s not from XO, here’s my favorite track, Bled White.
#2 Mutations - Beck
This is kind of cheap, because i was well-acquainted with Odelay, and of course we all knew Loser from Mellow Gold. But Mutations was easily the Beck album that was going to get overlooked. And i fell right into the trap. The whole album is from another world that many Beck fans weren’t exactly comfortable with, but it undeniably has growing-power. Statistically speaking, Mutations became the Beck opus most likely to end up in my car CD player once i completely came to terms with that side of his brilliance.
#1 In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
I can’t even begin to describe how much i would have loved to know this album when it came out. It’s kind of like trying to describe how desparetly i would love Neutral Milk Hotel to put out ten or twenty more albums just like it. So good it warrants two embedded YouTube videos and no post-videos closing remarks.
Reading the book The Pleasure Of Finding Things Out by Richard Feynman when i was 19 years old has substantially contributed to the majority of my life’s ‘A Ha!’ moments. It’s no exaggeration to say that i would be a much different person today, and have a drastically more limited grasp of reality without it.
Today, i find myself being saved again by the writings of Richard Feyman. I stumbled upon this site which explains, and lets one download, the Feyn Tube script for Firefox extension Greasemonkey. When enabled, the Feyn Tube script automatically changes all YouTube video comments into Richard Feynman quotes. You Tube comments, aka the armpit of the internet, are all suddenly now extremely clever and insightful quotes about science, life, religion, doubting, girls, bongos, Brazil, languages, art, etc.
The simple act of enabling this feature has increased the pleasure of watching You Tube videos exponentially. Can’t upvote enough.
